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How to Look Sexy and Classy in Middle Age

By: Hsin-Yi Cohen BSc, MA, MSt - Updated: 21 Oct 2012 | comments*Discuss
Sexy Classy Middle Age Older Women

Everyone wants to look sexy and attractive, no matter what their age. Many of the ways of looking sexy, however, especially in terms of dress, also often put you at the risk of looking cheap and tasteless. This is particularly true as you approach and pass middle-age, where excessive flesh on display and clinging clothing is more likely to earn you the derisive label of “mutton dressed as lamb” than an admiring look.

But don’t worry – being older does not have to necessarily mean being “frumpy”. It is possible to look sexy and classy, even as you sail into middle age. You just have to follow a few simple rules:


Forget what you’re wearing on your body – the most important thing is the expression you’re wearing on your face. A smile can be sexier than a red lace corset – and far more comfortable to wear! Many women in their quest for the right clothes or hair or footwear or even make-up to look sexually attractive forget about this all-important quality. Many times, women will watch disbelievingly as another woman gets more male attention, despite being less attractive and less sexily-dressed. The secret, however, is the other woman’s smile. A smile can work in mysterious ways. People may forget the details of your clothes and your hair – but they never forget a great smile. It invites and attracts attention; it flirts and teases; it empathises and welcomes. It reaches out to the other person and makes them feel special and wanted – and this in turn makes them see you as sexier and more desirable.


There is nothing less sexy than an uptight person. Someone who is fussy and anxious and constantly insecure and uncomfortable with themselves is a complete turn-off, no matter how long their legs or how big their breasts are! Confidence is very sexy and being confident and comfortable in your own skin is one of the most attractive traits a person can have. It affects everything, from the way you walk into a room to the way you talk to others. So don’t be afraid to open up to others, smile, make eye contact, be more outgoing – and you may be surprised at how that will boost your sexiness rating too.

Relaxing also means not taking things so seriously and learning to let go and have a bit of fun. A sense of fun is again one of the sexiest traits and one of the first things people notice. Sometimes people can get so wrapped up in trying to “act” sexy all the time that they don’t realise they coming across as a stilted caricature. They would actually appear sexier if they simply relaxed and showed the world that they are fun to be around.

Think red

It’s official: researchers at the University of Rochester conducted a study and found that men responded to photos of women on red backgrounds and found them more attractive and appealing, whereas women did not show this bias. Therefore, the clichés about “the lady in red” may have some basis in truth after all.

So the next time you’re considering a new dress, instead of opting for the safe old black, why not consider red? If you feel that you can’t cope with bold fire engine red, you can opt for more subtle shades, such as the darker wine-red and burgundy or quieter relations like rose pink. If dressing in red is too much for you, then why not consider red lipstick? An eternal favourite red lips have also been a sign of elegance, sophistication and sexiness – all rolled into one. The trick to wearing red lipstick well is to find the right shade of red to flatter your complexion so don’t be afraid to spend time experimenting at the make-up counter.

Hint rather than show

Finally, dressing sexy, especially for older women, is all about hinting and teasing rather than showing outright. There is nothing classy or really sexy – even at a young age – about vast amounts of flesh spilling out of plunging necklines, cropped tops and drastically-short skirts. Very often, the promise of what is beneath is far more tantalising than putting everything on show.

This does not mean, of course, that you cannot wear revealing clothing in middle age. But make sure that they enhance your best features and don’t highlight your worst. Be honest about your body and which aspects may not be at their best anymore. Don’t forget your skin – even if you still have the figure to fit into certain styles, remember that wrinkled, sagging flesh on show is very unattractive. Too many older women make the mistake of choosing styles which reveal a lot of cleavage – when their wrinkled, pigmented, rough-skinned décolletage is the last thing they want to draw attention to! Similarly, while skirt hems do not have to grow with your advancing years, be careful of wearing mini-skirts unless you are confident that your legs are not only toned but smooth and blemish-free.

Don’t forget the choice of fabrics too. Sexy is not only about the cut and style of the clothing but the quality of the fabrics too. Choosing luxe fabrics like cashmere and silk ensure that you give off a sensual air while still retaining a classy feel.

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