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Keep the Relationship Spark Alive in Later Years

By: Hsin-Yi Cohen BSc, MA, MSt - Updated: 20 Jan 2013 | comments*Discuss
Relationship Marriage Romance Romantic

We’re all in awe of those couples who celebrate their diamond or ruby anniversaries. Everyone wants to know the secret of a long, happy marriage – those old couples who still hold hands and kiss and cuddle like high school sweethearts…how do they do it? Read on for some tips – and you may be surprised to find that it is the little things that matter!

Don’t stop flirting!

Flirting with your partner is one of the most important ways to keep the spark alive. Not only does it build sexual tension and help to revitalise your sex life, it also stops people feeling like they are being taken for granted. When someone is flirting with you, you feel special and desirable and wanted. This is often the reason people have extra-marital affairs – a simple need to feel wanted and appreciated. In fact, most couples seem to forget how to flirt with each other as their marriage progresses into middle-age, or they even put more energy into flirting with other people! But with a bit of effort and dedication, flirting with each other can come naturally again and with it, a new lease of life for the relationship.

Make time for each other!

This may seem obvious and clichéd but this is again one of the main failures of couples who grow apart and whose relationships grow stale. Make an effort to set time aside just for the two of you – even if it just having a cup of tea together or even doing a household chore together. With the demands of work, children, extended family, not to mention friends and hobbies, time for each other can often get pushed to the bottom of the list – and this can be disastrous for your relationship. So prioritise your time together. Set aside at least one night or afternoon or morning a week when you spend time together.

Keep them guessing!

Romance is often built on surprising your loved one – but these kinds of efforts often diminish the longer you are in a relationship together. Predictability leads to boredom which leads to a rut – whether it is emotional or sexual. So don’t stop surprising your partner – it doesn’t have to be a major holiday or expensive gift – little everyday gestures can often mean more, such as a little note left on the bathroom mirror, a cup of tea or coffee in the morning or even just a peck on the cheek when they least expect it!

Talk to each other!

Poor communication plays a part in the destruction of many relationships. Staying connected verbally is key to staying connected romantically. Having someone listen to you as well as having someone to talk to is one of the reasons we enjoy having a life partner. But if you stop talking to each other and telling each other what you really feel, this can lead to distance between you and even eventually to fights about this which could have been resolved with earlier discussion. So take time every day to talk and share your news and thoughts with your partner, whether it is about your work, family, friends or other interests. By staying informed in each other, you will growing together.

Don’t be so serious!

Finally, don’t forget to laugh together! As the stresses of every day life and family and work commitments take their toll, things can become very serious and you can feel like you never talk to each other except to discuss domestic concerns. So make sure you find time and ways to laugh together – whether it is attending a comedy club or going to watch a funny movie together – or even playing a silly board game – letting yourselves laugh together will help remind you of your carefree days and thus keep the romantic spark alive.

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